Hewit

These are shots I took in Janurary for the band Hewit. Um..yeah...enjoy! I've been asked to take pictures for another band next week, so I'll post more picture then.

Self portraits...

Here's a few self ports I've taken over the last few weeks.
The whole reason i started the self-port. trend was as a type of journal entry. Sometimes words aren't enough--and in those cases, a picture can usually do the talking. The self-ports. have morphed a bit, but ultimately they come back to feelings, ideas, etc that I'm working on at the time.
The first one was inspired by the Misty Edwards song I Am Yours where she talks about our hearts yearning for the Lord even as we sleep.
The second is just...me. I have some cool lighting equipment so I've been playing around with it--just learning by experience.
The third was taken just last weekend at a little girl's birthday party. We were asked to dress up like princesses...so I did. As an Indian princess (or something)...but APPARENTLY that dress-up call wasn't for the adults. Ah well..I looked pretty.

Older stuff..

Here's a few more for your viewing pleasure.
Like I said eariler, I'm taking a lot of pictures. So I hope to be posting more and more recent pictures.

Old passions revisited

Well, it's well into 2007, thought I'd start the year off with some photography. As the story goes, my brother was asked by a local band to fill in for their awol photographer, but he referred the job to me, and the whole experience renewed my passion for photography.
So, here we go.
Hopefully I'll be posting a lot, because, so far I'm taking about 100-500 photos a week. There's gotta be something good in there! However, my internet has been a real hassle, so I'm...trying new ways to steal it better. Steal it well?
Let me know what you think:

Holiday reflections

Hey you few....
I'm desperately ill and the fact that I'm single hits home more than ever.
Anywho...I just wanted to say I'm recovering from boys. I've been having really beautiful dreams about guys that I trust. And I don't think it's God saying 'you will marry this guy in this dream' (bc I drempt about Scott Hunt....uh huh), He's just trying to reassure my heart that I can trust men...select men...but it CAN be done.
....I think the dreams are totally from God because I've been really distressed and praying about it a lot. Hating guys was a fun shtick for a while, but I'm tired of the anger. As far as I know boys don't read this blog, but if they're phantom bloggers, then I'm sorry I said I hate you. Oh, it was loath wasn't it? Well, either one...I don't hate you all. Just a few.
Thanks to everyone who wrote to me expressing their concern. It really did help.
So, Merry Christmas to you all!
AND
check out myspace at http://www.myspace.com/punkareux
It's fun and you can laugh at my pictures!
Hope to see you all very soon and if you're nearby bring me some soup. Or new lungs.
I miss my mum.

What I know...

So I've been thinking--are there any real men out there?
Because, however jaded and stereotypical this is, from what I can see, guys all want the same thing. And no matter how much older I get, or how much more experience I have under my 'belt', I never seem to learn that guy, boys, men, all want the same thing. Sex.
This is so after-school-special, but is that all I am? Some kind of meat to be had and then disposed of? Is that what it really comes down to in the end? Whether or not I give them what they want or fight for my heart?
Experience tells me, yes, that's all it comes down to.
I'm so heartbroken. I can't believe this is what it's come to. I can't believe I've ended up like this.
But I have to believe.
This is how it is. These are the facts.
I am no good to a man as a woman. I'm only good to a man as something to be 'had'. Even with good intentions, a man, at his core, wants the flesh. Damnit, not even my flesh. Just the best flesh he can get his hands on.
It's such a paradox. I want to fight for my heart, but I want to be wanted...
But in the end, it's simple.
I want to fight for my heart. And if that's the difference between eternally single and perpetually hurting, I'll take the latter.
I give up.
I'd rather be whole and lonely, then diced and desired.
This is all said with such clarity, calmness, civility...yet I loath them all.
I'm sorry I've gone back on my word, Ben. You know I hate going back on my word, but it's the truth.

I can't trust. I can't rely. I can't believe. I can't hope. I can't lean. I can't abandon. I can't humble. I can't allow myself to be vulnerbale. I've learned I can't put any stock into men. It's a depreciating accet.

This isn't how it was meant to be. I know that much as well.

Self-pitying report on life.

This about sums things up.









I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Alfred Tennyson - 1850