It's the dawn of a new ear...I'm sorry, era.

It's 12:01am.
I'm 25.

There's a VISA bill sitting, unpaid, on my desk, (from my father's VISA account no less), midwifery books and notes still to be studied, and a song playing by Blue Rodeo and Sarah McLaughin:

Tell me you dreams;
Lay your head on my pillow.
Tell me the things that you hide away;
Your pain, your pleasure, your sorrow.

I'm a year older but nothing has changed except the beginning of a new beginning. My deadline for childbearing is apparently up; I can now recall things that happened "23 years ago" (it's true--but it involves breastfeeding...sooooo I won't get into it); and I am officially at least 3 years off from when I thought I'd be married.

Things surely aren't what I had thought or even wanted them to be--but then I'm so grateful I'm not married to the man I thought I would be only a couple years ago. And I'm even more grateful for the time I've had living with Rebekah and then Gill and Ryan then Ken---these aaaaaarrrrrrre the daaaaaaays we will remember----
Midwifery has taken a turn for the worse but the experiences and memories are priceless and will be, no doubt, instrumental in the plans God has for me.

My Psalm for this year is Psalm 26:

Vindicate me, O LORD,
for I have led a blameless life;
I have trusted in the LORD
without wavering.
2 Test me, O LORD, and try me,
examine my heart and my mind;

3 for your love is ever before me,
and I walk continually in your truth.

4 I do not sit with deceitful men,
nor do I consort with hypocrites;

5 I abhor the assembly of evildoers
and refuse to sit with the wicked.

6 I wash my hands in innocence,
and go about your altar, O LORD,

7 proclaiming aloud your praise
and telling of all your wonderful deeds.

8 I love the house where you live, O LORD,
the place where your glory dwells.

9 Do not take away my soul along with sinners,
my life with bloodthirsty men,

10 in whose hands are wicked schemes,
whose right hands are full of bribes.

11 But I lead a blameless life;
redeem me and be merciful to me.

12 My feet stand on level ground;
in the great assembly I will praise the LORD.

That's a tough act to follow. I can't say I've not sat with the wicked, nor that I have led a blameless life. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this.

Anyway--thanks to everyone for a great 24th year--thanks for putting up with my crap and for holding me up in prayer far too often.