I'm a little bit ashamed of this post...

I've realized a crazy thing lately--well, for a while now. Yet, after almost a quarter of a century of habitual thinking patterns, it's hard to think in new ways.

And that new way is that the Lord is always there--ready to pick up where I left off. I think there's a period of adjustment where sin is involved, but generally, the Lord is just waiting to pick things up again--like a long standing, long-distance friendship.

I have a few friends like that--people I don't have to see or talk to for months, sometimes years, and yet when we're together we carry on like we've never been apart. Actually most of my best friends are those kinds of people. Not sure if that's bad or not.
But it sure is helpful.

Because with those friends there's no guilt, no shame, no anger, no resentment for not being in touch more often. Sometimes there's a bittersweetness to it once you realize how much you miss that person, but there's no guilt, because they love you and any time they can spend with you is priceless.

The Lord is like that--because he isn't interested in having us 'put our time in', or how 'deserving' we are.

Anyway--this post is dedicated to RuBy--for her inspiring, challenging posts on life, learning and God, and for her friendship that is like Jesus'; picking up where we left off without a second thought.

Wedding drama...but no crying lately

Yesterday consisted of mailing invitations, picking up my dress, doing some alterations on it, forgetting (temporarily!) my mother's birthday, working on my resume, my book, doing research for my book, doing research about wedding favours, updating my to-do lists and exercising because I can't fit into my dress.

Today consists of tracking down gifts for my bridesmaids, redoing the budget, mailing more invites, getting my sewing machine fixed, preparing for Ken moving in, getting quotes for cakes, looking into furniture for Ken and I and exercising again, because chances are good I won't fit into my dress again today and for many days.

Ah. This is the life.

But with so much out of the way, like choosing a photographer, videographer, the church, the reception, the pastor, the dress and al the bridesmaid's stuff and sending out invitiations I feel much more relaxed and prepared. For now.

Consequently I'm looking for a job. Part-time mind you, but I have lots of time these days and I suddenly feel the domestic responsibility to help win bread, especially for things like down-payments on houses and just surviving the economy these days.

Anyone got any leads?

Fortunately I haven't had my Monday break-down for a few weeks! This is great news for Ken. However, I'm sure there are more of those to come.

Hm, Ellius wants me to post more things about wedding plans...but it's not very interesting apparently.

Oh--Ken's parents met mine on Sunday. We had them over for lunch--it went well. There was some good laughter, good food, and intimate conversations. Overall a good experience. AND as a bonus my apartment is pretty much as good as it's going to get for a while! So--all of you out there you're welcome to drop by sometime!

We had a little photo shoot on the fire escape after lunch.




On and annoying note--as I was preparing for Sunday by hanging pictures on the walls my neighbour upstairs--the very neighbour taken to hospital by EMS workers about a month ago because of drug use--pounded his fists on my ceiling after about the 6th nail. He proceeded to sing in a foreign language and play his foreign sounding guitar. This lasted until about 1am when he literally fled from the building.
Ah...how comforting.
I think I'd rather live below an angry man then a drug-man.

A little research...

I don't know how I got onto this, but something made me research the species of baboon indigenous to the mountain region of Malawi that I was in when I was lost hiking there.
Apparently it is the yellow baboon, or hamadryas, variety. Omnivores, travel in packs, with one head male...who roars.




I had the mace in my left hand and my leatherman in the right hand (for accuracy) and I was SO ready to kill. I already had the headlines running through my head 'Lost hiker slays vicious 80 lb. male baboon' or 'Canadian backpacker lost in mountains makes a meal out of pack of dangerous baboons'

I never got a good look at that male, so putting a face to those roars is...disturbing.

That's all I wanted to say. You can be impressed and amazed now.

Born to birth

Hello mon petit frites!

Good news! I passed my NARM exam! It's been a long journey and there was more than a few times that I wished I had never started walking down that road, but I did it, and I'm so pleased. I think I was the most pleased when I just WROTE the exam, so that when I found out I passed it was rather anticlimactic. Weird eh?

I've come a long way though--from being that green little hippie in Boise to a student in Manila to supervisor in Antipolo to today--just a regular girl in Hamilton planning her wedding.

Suturing for the first time. I enjoyed it too much and henceforth continued to enjoy it too much--even with the real deal.

Learning how to give (and receive) subcutaneous injections with Katie.

Studying hard in Manila a couple weeks after arriving. I believe that the stethescope on the text actually helps one to 'hear' the knowledge.

Our last homebirth as a team and as a clinic---in, without a doubt, the worst living conditions I've ever worked in or witnessed. Rats between your ankles, cockroaches on your back, being peed on and delivering a newborn on cardboard.

Helping a mother focus, breathe and push.

With my special survivor Baby Tan--born 8 weeks early and the only one of FORTY premies to survive the Nicu in a Filipino Children's Hopsital.

Albeit, a much wiser, harder-working and disciplined midwife-bride. (Ooooooh these words are rich in Christian subtexts, eh? You could just go crazy with the parallels!)

Thanks to everyone who helped push me (ah...hilarious) to the finish line.

(More on wedding shananigans later!)

Lessons in human nature

Interactions with people are always amusing--in one way or another. I believe my levels of patience, or my cap, is pretty pathetic, so maybe I'm not the best observer of human nature. Yet a few interactions last week stand out.

I was at the mall returning a book to the library when I walked by a dress shop and saw a dress in the window that I wanted to have for my honeymoon--so I went in. I asked the guy working there what size it was, assuming it was tiny, and I suppose I scrunched my face when I asked because he was literally taken-aback. He said it was a medium and that I shouldn't frown so much. I looked slideways at him and continued looking at clothes. He proceeds to prophecy over me:
'You're really high maintence, aren't you?'
'No.' I pout. 'I have high standards.'
'Yeah. You're hard to please. How's that going for you?'
(I can't believe this conversation is happening.)
'Fine enough I suppose considering I'm shopping for my honeymoon...' and I flash him my ring. 'So I guess things are going just fine thanks.'
He pauses, all the while just watching me look through the racks. 'So basically you've just found someone who's just as picky as you?'
'Is that a bad thing?'

I try the dress on and love it--there aren't any mirrors IN the change room so I have to come out and he's all over me. 'See I told you not to frown so much--it fits. It looks great. See here,' he starts touching my waist, 'this is so flattering.'

I can't believe he's just touching me, but I'm too....startled to do or say anything. He continues to do this despite my very clear body-language 'get the flip away from me'.

So I leave that store in a daze--feeling totally insulted yet somehow complimented as well. Also having been groped and having done nothing about it and just smiling at him and buying a dress.
People are weird.

Then--this is a little life lesson for you all:
DON'T POINT OUT OBVIOUS PHYSICAL ISSUES TO OTHERS YOU DON'T KNOW OR CARE ABOUT

I feel like that is Life 101, yet a lot of people haven't learned that yet.

I was at my HipHop class, (yes, hiphop yo,) and whenever I exercise I get a really red face and get super sweaty. That's just me. It's been like that since childhood. It's doesn't matter if I'm totally out of shape or in the best shape of my life. And I know it's not a phenomenon unto me alone.

Yet, as I was busting my moves in class an older lady who was too 'dizzy' to participate turns to me and says with a big smile 'Your face is all red,' as if she had said 'looks good!'
It was so bizarre. I was infuriated and humiliated. YES my face was red. Any idiot who wasn't COLOR BLIND could see that (I guess in that case she would have thought I was cyanotic?), but who points that out? She might as well have said 'Your hair is in a ponytail!'

I've been totally wounded like that before in ballet classes as a kid. I was asked why my feet were so wide by this girl named Clarissa who was a petit ballet-bodied Italian girl. And a girl named Sarah told me there were bumps on my arms. As if a young girl isn't aware of these things.

Anyway folks. Do mankind a favour and be kind. Put yourself in the position of receiving the words you are about to say and see how they make you feel before you wound another with a flippant remark.