That happened to me today when, after ashemedly watching 100 Huntley St., I realized, hey, I have 'freewill'. Everything I do or say is a choice. God doesn't coerce me into things, or manipulate (that's the proper name for coerce, isn't it?) me into behaving a certain way, or cause my heart to suddenly be a different heart. He might romance me into wanting to, but ultimately, it's by choice that I spend time with him; by choice I turn to him when I'm angry; by choice muster up the courage to trust him.
I know this is Faith 101, but seriously, I hadn't ever really thought about it. Everything I do to get closer to the Lord is by MY will, and everything I do that takes me further from him is again, my choice.
Bek has really inspired me lately (but not ever anytime before just the other day) with choosing to take an hour out of her incredibly busy schedule to 'waste' on the Lord. The ball is in our court, so to speak. It always is and always has been. I mean, I suppose there are times when we wait on the Lord to answer a prayer or request, and then the ball would be in his court...inner court, I'm assuming. But the rest of the time it's my decision to serve the ball back.
Yes yes. We ALL get it. I don't need to keep repeating myself in different ways until I hear someone in the distance cry 'oh! I get it! Free will!' I'm just so stunned by this revelation---the gravity and seriousness of it, and yet, it being a gift.
On Huntley St. this lady was speaking about making choices. She told a story about praying with her friend. Her friend wanted to quit smoking so they prayed together, and no sooner had they finished then her friend said 'pray again. but this time ask the Lord to take away my desire to smoke.' And this lady, I don't remember her name, said 'no. I won't do that because God won't do that. You need to make the decision and say no to the cigarette and pray that God gives you the strength follow-through.'
I've never thought about it that way. I want to lose weight--and I'm certain I've prayed something to that same affect--'Lord, take away my desire to eat fatty foods.' When, because I love him and love my body which is his temple, I should pray for the strength to make wise decisions and the grace to follow-through.
The Lord is so dynamic, eh? So multi-dimensional and yet so simple and straight-forward.
The other cool thing I realized a while ago was that, if for a time I drift from the Lord, spending very little time or thought with him, he's one of those friends you can just pick up where you left off. It isn't a game--there is no time limit. I can turn to him and say, ok, where were we? And he won't miss a beat.
Again, this seems elementary, but to me, and perhaps to you, it was so refreshing and exciting that I didn't need to start from level 1 again. That whatever 'level' I had reached before I got lazy or angry or distracted, was the same 'level' the Lord was wanting to meet with me again.
He has so much grace. I can't fathom it.
Anywhoskis. It's almost the weekend! And I have another wedding on Sat. That's 6 this summer! Look for pictures forthcoming!
Here are a couple from my most recent weddings:
7 comments:
Oh look at you and your blossoming photography career!! I'm impressed.
Also, I like what you wrote. I feel the same way... the most profound truths are so simple, but it takes years to understand them sometimes. Go figure.
PS - Bek, are you reading this? Do you live in Waterloo now? If so, we should get together!
I miss you and love you so much. I think about you often and have you in my prayers always. I love being able to read your blogs and know what you are thinking even though we are so far away.
it's soooooooo truuuuuuue, clairissimo. i am constantly amazed at what happens when i make those kinds of choices.
i can feel COMPLETELY HORRIBLE about something... maybe for days (sometimes months)! and then i try choosing to push through and get God's perspective - choose to trust him - basically choose to have FAITH rather than "bring a bad report" or let my circumstances/emotions control my perspective on the way things really are.
of course, the breakthrough comes, and i'm usually SHOCKED! and every time, i face that fact again that God was always there WAITING for me to CHOOSE. he knew i had the strength to choose. and he wanted me to learn to DO IT and learn what happens when i do! the more i do it, the easier it is to do it, and more frequently. which really results in growth - in maturity.
he's so concerned with growth - he doesn't just fix everything for us. it seems frustrating and painful sometimes. but the rewards are SO AWESOME when we rise up and at least do our part (the choosing part), and he is ALWAYS SO FAITHFUL to come through in his perfect way.
and annie - YES! let's get together! i'm in waterloo. e-mail me and we'll find a time to hang out!
hahaha... whoops! that comment was from ME, REBEKAH... it says it's from gill and ry. i'm on thier computer. sorry. my comments in no way represent their thoughts on the issue. or, well, i don't know, they probably DO represent their thoughts on the issue pretty accurately. who knows. sorry about that...
Right on! I don't think I have your email address though. I think we should have a par-tay of some sort, what do you think?
(Claire, sorry for using your comment area. But you are obviously included!)
Did you know that every time I try to get onto your blog I get a warning message: "This content may only be suitable for adults..."? Or something like that. Weird.
Hhaha...yeah. I know. I put it there. I didn't want my more...sensitive readers to be offended without warning.
It also makes the blog so exciting! 'What's she going to say next?!?'
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