Rage

I just wish more than anything that the Lord would come back.
Wouldn't that be lovely? No more fear.
Fear about the war in Israel; the genicide in Sudan; nuclear attacks; pandemics; gas prices...it's true...I stress about that; husbands; disease; (the last two are equally fearful)...
In grade 12 my favourite teacher, Mr Crocker, asked his english class which they would rather; ignorance or total knowledge. Everyone but me but up their hands for knowledge. Perhaps I chose ignorance so I could be different, or maybe because then Mr Crocker would talk to me about why I thought I wanted that. Either way, I still want that. In all honesty who wouldn't rather live in the middle of nowhere, tending to your crops, blissfully unaware of wars, disease, politics, inflation. Seriously. Versus knowing everything, your head swimming with knowledge, being totally aware of everything you could be afraid of. No thank you.
My friend Ames in Darfur has offered me 1 USD per day to entertain her on a desert island (if she ever gets sent to one). I think I'll accept her offer. At least I'll be ignorant and laughing.
All that to say, I wish I weren't here in this pain. I wish I could run away...or be run over. Either would be fine.