And that's what Spring signifies for me: change. Ch-ch-ch-changes to be exact.
Oh David.
This Spring is a different spin on change. Nothing drastic, just a muturing, or coming-into of ideas and dreams.
I've realized, and not in a self-pitying, passive way, that I might never get married. And that's not a bad thing--it's just a different thing. So I've had to change my way of thinking about the present and futute.
My ultimate dream is to own a small 12 acre farm, have a mutt from the pound named Teddy and a cat named Henri, an old pick-up (preferably red or green), grow most of my own food organically, preserve beets, pickles and jams in the fall, make braided rugs out of the rags I've been collecting for YEARS, have some chickens and maybe some sheep, and be able to take off on mission trips two or three times a year.
It's not impossible. It's not unreasonable. It's not even very exciting, but it's my dream, so why haven't I been working towards it?
Because I've been waiting for a husband. Clearly, that's the way to go. But I can't wait forever, and I'm not going to. I'm going to walk on into my dreams and hope he meets me there.
And in the immortal words of David Bowie...
Still dont know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets and
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through
CHORUS
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Ah changes are taking the pace I'm going through
3 comments:
Sigh. It's a hard conclusion to come to... the no marriage possibility. I should probably take a hard look at that very thing myself.
I like the sound of your dreams very much, and I hope you buy this farm soon so I can come hang out at it.
Nah--it doesn't require a hard look. Just a realization that your life isn't ready to begin once you get married. And I think most of us realize that---we just don't always act on it.
I might start with a small place in Hamilton/Burlington city first--still want to hang out there?
O yes, I would like to hang out there.... a chance to get out of Hamilton? I'll take it.
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