I'm in a glass box of emooooootion

Sigh. I'm so full. Full of chips, and salad, and dreams. Dreams? Yes. Dreams.

I just went to Annie's blog (I'm a bad friend..."You have a blog, Annie?") and she said on her aforementioned blog that photographers aren't a novelty anymore. Everyone's a photographer.
It's so true.

And everyone else who isn't a photographer is either a sushi eating, home-flipping, fashion designer or...is still in school for one of those. It's true--sushi-eating is a course offered at many local colleges. Check it out.
Oh...I almost wrote cottages instead of colleges and it made me want to drive to the cottage RIGHT NOW.
Anywho--I've been really, and I mean really truly struggling with what my whole dang purpose is these days. I feel pretty much useless. I don't work, I don't volunteer, I rarely give money to homeless people because I don't want to encourage their bad habits. I suppose I consume a lot--which is in a way, supporting the economy.
Whatever. I just feel so restless and uesless and any other word ending in 'less'. Mindless. Gutless. Hairless. I WISH.

No way man! No way!

I AM a photographer! And I'm a painter too! And I'm a gardener, and a cook, and a seamstress (and your mother) and a stylist, and a personal shopper, and a welder, and an events coordinator, and an art curator, and a friend, and a dancer! and a person who wished they were a musician, and a poet, and a story-teller, and a collector of fine thingies, and a philanthropist, and a student, and a midwife, and a dreamer!

I'm all these things. And that's ok.

On that note--here's my latest piece. It's along the same lines as my scandelous vignettes.


And you know--while I'm at it....here's another piece that's really close to my heart.
I cry. I do. Do you cry? I don't know why we're all so afraid of it. Everyone cries. I wish we all cried more. I wish crying was demystified and decensitized and when someone needed to cry a little or a lot, it would be ok.
So here's an...honest picture. I like it because it's real, and raw and everyone knows what this feels like. Don't deny it.


Thanks for the encouragement to keep blogging Annie. This one is dedicated to you.

The Ocean

My heart is churning.
Loud and frothy.

Never-ending.

All-consuming.



Crashing down on reason.
Crashing down on reason.
Crashing down on reason.

Smashing reason into litle bits of drama that stick to my toes.

My heart is churning.

Rescue me. Help my heart. HMH.


Unknown, 1983

Florida: Flagler Beach

Hey everyone--
Since I arrived in Florida, I haven't been doing anything I had really planned on doing except eating, watching movies and shopping....oh Lord I have fulfilled those three. Anyway--I popped out to the beach right before a big storm hit--here are a few picts. And I'd just like to say--I'm a little embarassed/pleased with the self-portrait I took on the beach...and I'm including it because I'm pleased with it...but at the same time feel the need to disclaim, that, yes, I realize it's a little...vain? Um...drama-queenish? But it's a cool shot. I'm a slave to cool shots.
................
oooooooooooook for some reason I can't download pictures. So go to my facebook and see the pictures there. Otherwise, hang tight.
See ya!

The crew from Thursday night:

This is me, Jim the welder, and Dave Witt after our triumphant night of welding until 3am.

There were minor lacerations, moderate burns, a few failed jabbing attempts, and one electrocution. I'm proud to say it was I who got electrocuted!

More adventures in welding!

Hey folks--
Some more shots from my welding expeditions of late. This was from tonight when my good friend Matt (veteran Winker) helped me out with two panels for the conference art show!
Seriously...looking into welding career after I'm finished midwifery....my parents LOVE that about me. You know, my lack of stick-to-itativeness.
But first...this is me at the walk0in clinic the other day moments before I was told, 'Yes you have a sinus infection....oh and pneumonia.'

Matt's a little domineering with the welding gun...so I take pictures of bordom.

Spacey...

Surrender

Love, when we met, 'twas like two planets metting.
Strange chaos followed; body, soul, and heart
Seemed shaken, thrilled, and startled by that greeting;
Old ties, old dreams, old aims, all torn apart
And wrenched away, left nothing there the while
But the great shining glory of your smile.

I knew no past; 'twas all a blurred, bleak waste;
I knew no future; 'twas a blinding glare.
I only saw the present: as men taste
Some stimulating wine, and lost all care.
I tasted Love's elixir, and I seemed
Dwelling in some strange land, like one who dreamed.

I was a godlike separate existence;
Our world was set apart in some fair clime.
I had no will, no purpose, no resistance;
I only knew I loved you for all time.
The earth seemed something foreign and afar,
And we two, sovereigns dwelling in a star!

My being trembled to its very center
At that first kiss. Cold Reason stood aside
With folded arms to let a grand Love enter
In my Soul's secret chamber to abide.
Its great High Priest, my first love and my last,
There on its alter I consumed my past.

And all my life I lay upon its shrine
The best emotions of my heart and brain,
Whatever gifts and graces may be mine;
No secret thought, no memory I retain,
But give them all for dear Love's precious sake;
Complete surrender of the whole I make.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1892

Happy Valentine's Day (of Torture) my friends...
always,
Claire

A hard day's night.

*******Disclaimer----I WILL be retouching the blurry spots in this photo---don't you worry. I just don't have the programs to do that myself.*********

Last night I had the pleasure of welding until the wee hours--I think we stopped around 3am. It was glorious. I'm not kidding. I think once I've established myself as a photographer, seamstress, chef, and general domestic goddess I'll take a welding apprenticeship.
Anywho--this is all for the True City conference at the end of the month. I'm the artistic administrator and we were welding industrial fence-like panels to hang art on for the exhibit. It was pretty cool seeing an idea I had become tangible...and by my own hands. And apparently I'm very talented at fitting odd shapes together. How true...how true.
So here are some shots from last night...
The sparks from the grinder are so beautiful:

My hands after the job was finished---I LOVE getting dirty...is that wrong?

Proof: that I actually did some work. Here I am shaping the metal.