Death by Baboons?! PART TWO

The next two and half hours are a blur.

Now, I know what you're thinking, because I just reread my last post: Claire, take it easy. They're monkeys.
And yes, I can understand why you'd say this.

But imagine with me for a moment that you are on a mountain-side in Africa. Alone. A female like me (not especially adventurous OR experienced with wildlife). Separated from your group and surrounded by ferocious sounding animals. Not certain your group is coming back any time soon and starting to wonder if they're lost.
Yeah. Ok. Moderately scary.
Now add a VERY vivid imagination and romantic sensibilities (ie dying battling a baboon in Africa...romantic in the novel/literature kind of way).
(Here I am looking 'romantic').
Here is an excerpt from James' journal (he said I could write in it...) BEFORE the lion:
"Here I am, sitting on the side of a mountain--overlooking rural Malawi being harassed by giant blackflies and haunted by very scary-sounding baboons. Now, I don't know much about baboons per se, or monkeys in general, but I seem to have this deep seeded (seated?) fear of them. I believe it has something to do with the baboons from Disney's Tarzan...at the time the baboons chasing Janes was one of my favourite scenes. But now all I can think about it how ferocious they were and how much I wish Tarzan was real.
But the Lord keeps reminding me who He is "His thoughts for me are all good." That's so comforting to me when I'm sitting here imagining all the ways I could be killed by angry baboons."


So, as I'm sure you've all guessed, it wasn't a lion I was hearing, it was a big daddy baboon. And he wasn't mauling a human baby...just a baboon teenager. Still. Blood-curdling.
Right, so we left off as the lion/baboon was crashing through the tall grass towards me...

With knife drawn in my right hand, and mace ready in the left I was prepared for all possible scenarios:

a) in a blind-fury the baboon comes right at me so I stab with the knife and spray him with the pepper spray
b) pepper spray is clogged (and expired...eck!) so I stab him repeatedly in the face and blow the whistle attached to the pepper spray in hopes I wound and disorient him enough to escape
c) if he doesn't charge at me then I have the cell phone Mtulo gave me, the knife, mace and whistle packed on my person (don't tell Mtulo I tucked the phone in my bra so it wouldn't fall out of my pocket if I had to run) in case I had to make a run for it.
d) if he seems a more curious than aggressive, blow the whistle and see how easily he startles--then move onto standing up and yelling, then to throwing things.

Fortunately, by the grace of God, (who I was intermittently threatening, praying to, crying to, begging and swearing at) the daddy baboon never showed his face...although I heard him enough to know he was VERY close and checking me out.
I thought about it from his point of view--I was in his territory, hanging out under his fruit tree (poor choice of seating local on my part), and I, as far as he was concerned, was just another type of primate. IE: a threat.

Then I thought harder as to why I had this deep-seeded fear of baboons; nature shows. BAH! Why did I watch those so much as a child?!?!? An instinctual fear of baboons was about the same as an instinctual fear of hippos; creatures who are portrayed as cute little animals on children's shows, but who are, in fact, highly aggressive, dangerous creatures.

It's about this time I start to wonder what the F I'm doing alone in the mountains in Africa.

Time ticked away--the fear of baboons attacking is replaced with a fear I've been left behind.
Another expert from James' journal:
"I've now been here for 3 hours...and the fear I had for myself and the baboons has now turned into fear you're all lost or injured somewhere and I'll have to get out of here alone.
James, it is now your job to make sure I never go on another hike with you--ever."

Oh, you can't imagine the range of emotions I was feeling. Top of the list was fear. After that:
-anger
-helplessness
-sudden bursts of random wild-life knowledge
-aggression
-thankfulness
-abandonment
-hopelessness
-desperation
-flight and fight
-denial
-panic

Now, remember WHO we're talking about here: me. I know everyone wouldn't respond this way. So, take this with a grain of salt.

Sometime around the time the lion/baboon started stalking me I started trying to reach Tim via the cellphone. (Click on Tim's name to read his version of the day...) No luck. Bad reception. I must have tried a dozen times. Finally he called me. The reception was poor and I couldn't make sense of what he was saying.
"Claire...you...and we're....text?" Then the connection died.
There was no time for me to say "TIM! I'm surrounded by baboons who want my flesh! WHERE ARE YOU? and when are you coming back!??!"
Wondering if he had wanted me to text him I did so...pretending to be calm I wrote 'Hey, where are you'. Half an hour later, after I hadn't heard back I wrote 'Hey, where are you monkeys here freaky'.
Still no response.

Pseudo-rain clouds start to pile overhead and the crickets start to creak. Night is falling.

TO BE CONTINUED......Bwahahhahaha.....