I have this one particular obcessive compulsive disorder (or in my case it's no DISorder) where I turn everything into a fraction or percentage.
For example, I'll be reading a book and every once in a while I'll stop and guestimate how far along I was. 1/8th, 2/5th, 3/7th. Just weird stuff like that. Or I'll be walking up the stairs and be calculating the percentage of stairs climbed. Am I weird? Is anyone else like that?
On that note--I've been noticing some trends in my blogging. When I post something sad or thoughtful there is a 50 to 95% drop in the number of comments posted by my readers as opposed to a funny post.
Interesting.
Anyway! You know how those great people out there---the selfless, servant-like ones--who say things like 'It's all worth it if just one person is saved.' (saved physically or spiritually...) I am not one of those people.
I figure--what's the ripple effect like with one person? I'm not here to help one woman through labour, or one baby to be breastfed, or one child to grow up NOT malnourished. No way man! Not in a world of (hold on..have to google this...)6,602,224,175 people! No way. What, I'm going to go to bed at night with a contented little smirk on my face that 'Yes, now there are 6,602,224,one hundred and SIX! people alive today. And it's all because of me.'
Is it wrong to think that way? Seriously? Am I morally corrupt into thinking that one person, although special etc etc, isn't worth it. Not when the issues and problems are affecting BILLIONS!
2/3rds of the population of the world: 4,401,482,784 live in poverty. And not just lower-class citizens who shop at Goodwill, no people who are dying because they can't feed themselves. I can't see the significance of working my ASS off just to save one person when there are over 4 BILLION left over.
Again, I'm not saying that one person isn't important--of COURSE they are--because my mother could be that person, or my sister, or my nephew--but when you're in the health-care field AND the missionary field...it's nothing.
I think globally! I'm a child of the 21st century--I have friends all over the world and I communicate on the internet 95% of the time. How can I NOT think globally in terms of health-care and mission work.
But REALLY TELL ME IF I'M fundamentally incorrect here! I don't know. I've just had this growing frustration and impatience towards small-time gigs.
How is it that corporations like Nestle can go into a country, or CONTINENT for Pete's sake, and damn well TAKE OVER but a charity has to scrape by for years never able to leave their posts let alone expand.
But then as much as I hate Nestle and everything they stand for (even though they deny it) I'm so inspired by them. I mean, that's a lot of work to single handedly change the attitudes and beliefs about breastfeeding, of ALL things, from one of life and nourishment to death and disease!!!!! It's SO inspiring!! I'm serious! It means that there's hope.
Oh, maybe it's the heat or the lack of English-speaking people to talk to about this, but I'm feeling CRAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZY!
And lastly, as a bit of humour (so that my comments percentage will average out to around 35% or 2/3rds) I was going along today in a tricycle cab and I saw this man walking along the side of the road. He had over his shoulder a stick of bamboo and hanging on either end, much like you'd see in a picture from China of a rural woman carrying buckets on a bamboo rod over her shoulder, were plastic-wrapped pillows. I noted this, didn't think much of it, until I thought to myself...I wonder what the pillow market is like such that a man walking around selling only pillows door to door is able to sustain life? It must be a tremendous market.
So I asked the guy driving the tricycle "You like pillows?"
"Ano?" What, he said.
"Yeah, you like pillows."
"Ano?"
"Nothing. It's just the guy...with the pillows. He's selling them...on the road..." And I chuckled to myself because I just know I'm gaining a reputation as the crazy white lady who sweats a lot. I KNOW it.
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3 comments:
I think that people are afraid to comment on serious posts because maybe they don't know exactly what to say. Like, say someone you know comes up to you and announces that they... I don't know, hate CRIME or something. Or abortion. What would you say?? So I kind of get it, although this is a BLOG, so seriousness should be expected. I don't get people sometimes. But in this case I just think it is easier to think of stuff to say if the post is funny or light-hearted.
remember the starfish story claire? the man is walking down a beach that is literally covered in starfish that had been washed ashore, and they were slowly dying in the sun. he comes across a little boy who is throwing the starfish back into the water, one at a time. he says to the boy "you're wasting your time. there are millions of starfish on the beach. you can't make a difference with just you here, throwing them back one at a time". and the little boy picks up a starfish and tosses him back into the sea and says "i made a difference to that one".
and then there is the wise Mother Teresa, who should inspire you a hell of a lot more than a piece of shit company like Nestle, who said "if you can't feed a hundred people, then feed one".
and another quote by her "We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop" - Mother Teresa
so don't downplay the importance of doing what you're doing. it's making a difference.
and now i'm going to try to post this on your stupid blog that never lets me post things. wish me luck.
love Ames
une autre chose...
totally forgot to mention that no, i don't OCD about stats, etc, but i do have my own OCD issues. i count things by 3's. if i'm going up stairs i want to count them by 3's and have the last step be a 3, so depending on how many stairs there are, that will determine whether i start counting from the ground, or stair 1 or stair 2. and i count things i drive by in 3's. like trees, or posts, or cars parked on the side of the road.
so apparently i'm just as crazy as you. this is comforting, non?
love, Ames again
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